5 Simple Steps to Improve Self Confidence

self confidence

Self confidence is one trait that can have a huge impact on our lives. A lack of self confidence can leave us feeling discouraged and even change the way we behave. As well as changing how we behave, it can leave us feeling discouraged and fearful of the future. Left unchecked this can lead to anxiety and even depression. In my own case, it was a major cause of me living a very fearful and limited life.

In my post about letting go of the past, I outlined how we all create stories in our minds that can limit our lives. For me, lack of self confidence was linked to stories I created based on a past bad experiences.

Our past experiences then create stories that are stored in our subconscious mind. Over time, these collected stories  impact how we feel about ourselves and how we perceive the world around us. So, our lack of self-confidence stems from the stories we have created and stored in our minds.

The great news is that we can learn to re-write our stories and so improve our self confidence. That’s why I want to share 5 simple steps I use to boost my own confidence. Can I please recommend that you read use these steps in order as each idea adds on to the next.

self confidence -our stories

Self Confidence – Step #1 – Who is the Author?

Confident people recognize that they are the author of the stories they have created about themselves. Also, they recognize the impact these have on their experience of life.

Therefore, as soon as you accept that you are the author of your thoughts, emotions and behavior it becomes possible to adapt or re-write our stories. Understanding and accepting this is the vital first step to creating a positive and confident future self.

Once we accept that we are the author of the stories that reduce our confidence, it’s possible to monitor how this happens and take action to change this.

self confidence -reality

Self Confidence -Step #2 – Real or Fake?

Firstly, think back to the last time you felt fearful about anything. Most often, the fear we feel is based on a perceived outcome. In fact, our fears rarely eventuate to anything like the way we perceived them. So, most fear is simply a mental and emotional construct that keeps our confidence low and limits our actions for no real reason.

Therefore, the very  next time you feel your confidence flagging, simply imagine what it would be like to be super confident about that issue or situation you are facing. This process is often called ‘fake it till you make it.’

Ask yourself these questions. If you were confident,  how would you behave? What outcome would you achieve? How would people react around you and how would others treat you?  Finally, how does this make you feel?

By asking these questions you can visualize and affirm your confidence. This allows you to create a powerful new mental story about yourself. Repeat this thought story and explore how wonderful it feels to be full of confidence.

The key point is that our subconscious mind does not know whether our stories are real or made up. Over time, it accepts the stories you feed it. Therefore, by using visualization and affirmations every day, it’s possible to create a powerful new story about the very confident you.

self confidence -action

Self Confidence – Step #3 – The Transfer

Now it’s time to take your developing stories and transfer them into the physical world.

Self confident people take action despite feelings of fear or misgivings. Just before you take action, run through your affirmation or quick visualization where you see the totally confident you successfully completing the task at hand. Then, take a few deep breaths, put a smile on your face and take action.

As the Nike advert states…’Just Do It’. Feel and see yourself completing the task you have been avoiding. The more you do this, the more confident you will become over time.

self confidence -action plan

Self Confidence – Step #4 – What Do You Want?

The more you use the previous three tips, the more you become focused on the future rather than the past. By challenging the stories in your mind it’s possible to reshape them and your life.  Therefore, as you become more confident, it’s really important to continue to shift your focus to what you want in your life. As you learn to shift your focus to your future, it becomes easier to let go of focusing on what you don’t want.

In fact, as you develop a more confident view of the world you find that you experience more constructive thoughts and emotions. This means it becomes much easier to simply ignore what you don’t want.  Using affirmations every day is a powerful way to develop confidence for every aspect of your life. For me, this was the turning point in unleashing my personal power to create the life I always wanted.

self confidence -alternatives

Self Confidence – Step #5 – The Power of Mistakes

The final step in building confidence is to learn that all humans make mistakes. In fact, welcome them as they are usually opportunities  to learn and develop. Don’t ever allow mistakes to lower your confidence. Simply work through what went wrong, adjust your action plan.  If plan A doesn’t work well, then move on to plan B . Once you have adapted your plan, continue to affirm your confidence and skills, then take action again.

If your confidence drops for any reason, simply double your efforts around affirming your self confidence. Finally, remember that self confidence is like a costume, you need to remember to put it on, just like putting the smile on your face.

Here are some related posts you might enjoy…

4 Simple Steps to Letting Go of the Past

How to Be Happy More Every Day

14 Daily Affirmations for a Great New Year

If you want to boost the impact of your affirmations, you may want to check out one of my favorite resources called Mindzoom Affirmations




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